Sometimes when I get home, I soak in the tub with Epsom salts. I love to dip my head under the water. I can hear the music that’s playing in the bathroom and my heart beating. Coming up for air, my hair always feels so silky on my shoulders. I luxuriate and allow my muscles time to relax. When the water has begun to cool, I know I’m not ready to get out. I top up the hot water and breathe in the steamy air. I relax my mind and allow my thoughts to just exist.
I am aware that my body holistically needs rest when I return from our escapes. I am easily soothed by focusing on the sensations in my body. I think about the soles of my feet, my toes, and consciously allow my arches to relax in the hot water. I imagine my ankles softening into the water. I relax my calves before moving up and throughout my entire body. When I reach the top of my head, I spend the last moments picturing my heart strengthening in it’s ability to be open and accepting to the beauty the world presents.
When I am dried, I do gentle stretches, and dedicate extra time for self massage. I massage my neck and roll my head gently a few times. I spread cream on my body, covering it entirely. I work slowly, making sure to give equal attention to my limbs. I stay naked, with socks and a fluffy robe and I make tea. I relax on the couch and spend as long as I want reading a book. Sometimes I work on creative writing or I paint. I let myself be. Just be uninterrupted. Not having to share any part of myself. Existing only for me.
I understand these things about myself. That I need this kind of space. Do you know this about yourself? Do you ask yourself these questions?
Are my arms the space you come to do this? I love being a regenerative presence in your life. I remain humbled by it.
When we remove the elaborate fantasy, we are just two human beings. Human beings with complex emotions who sometimes have simple desires. These are far easier to satisfy in a few hours and often give us relief from struggles with our more complex emotions. The clarity you talk about, I absolutely get that too. It is not instant, like a cup of ice water to the face like you get, but it does happen. It feels like my brain is uncluttered for a while. Or rather suddenly I realize again it was organized as it always is, I just needed to recharge.