Allow me to be self indulgent when I say this, but I have noticed that you have started paying it forward since seeing me. I know that might sound strange and you may wonder, how could I possibly know? I can tell in the way you move. The way you take me in your arms. I have witnessed first hand the way you have started to give back some of that sunshine. The sunshine which we all greedily absorb without thought of repayment.
I see the change that is moving through you and you have never been more sexy to me. I have never felt like I know you as much I know you in this moment. I already know that I am willing to contribute again and again to you changing. Changing to become the man you know you are meant to be. I see your confidence blossom while your ego stays in check. I see you. I see you adjusting who you are as a human being on this planet. You have never been more vulnerable in my arms than in this moment.
The hidden beauty of this all, to me, is that change is not fast. This did not happen by us simply meeting. It took effort, on both of our parts, and that feels so good deep inside of me. That we both choose to be present when we are together. That we understand these rules we have developed, these laws of us, and they have become second nature. That we always choose kindness. We have built something beautiful here.
I have changed too. Every time I am with you, I come away and I begin to change. I look inside and I listen to my heart, I hear myself clearly. I do not want to waste these experiences. I want to learn, I want to grow and I know transformation is possible. I practice gratitude. I meditate when I struggle. I meditate again to celebrate the freedom to be who I am. I tend to my memories and learn from them. I keep making space for what is new as much as I let myself get lost in nostalgia.
These experiences, these glimpses, the moments that we share. I never categorize us as good or bad. But lately, with the way you’ve been changing, I notice I feel good more often when we are together. That we spend more time in joyous moments. That we are intentional in quiet moments. That you became more gentle and tender. That you are choosing to open up to the possibility of seeing things differently. That you are changing in response to new understandings of who you are as person. To me, these are signs that you are giving back. I feel so lucky to have these opportunities to witness transformation.
I am so grateful to walk this earth. I am grateful for the chances I am given in this life. The opportunities to be open and be reminded that I am alive. I am grateful that I get to experience and contribute to kindness. I am so goddamn lucky for the way I feel when I am with you. Thank you for being you when you are with me.