Leaving Work Out


I want to thank you again for not asking about my work. I am constantly in awe of your restraint in the early days of our professional relationship. You take care in your actions, you listen and respond to my boundaries. Your effort makes it so easy for us. Things have their way of naturally unfolding, gently guided by our course corrections, and finally reaching the place where we both know how to communicate our desires. Part of that path is learning that some topics are not available to us in conversation.

My work in my vanilla life or civilian life is very intellectually stimulating. It requires awareness, accuracy, efficiency, precision and critical thinking. It requires awareness of the biased lenses in which I view the world through. It requires introspection and deep thinking. In my work, I am well served by downtime. However, the fact that I find my work so interesting makes that difficult.

With work, this is where I negotiate and renegotiate boundaries with myself. With our professional relationship, we make it so much easier for boundaries, we keep it simple and straightforward. I find this act in turn gives me strength in creating boundaries in other areas of life. For me that is work. It is easier for my work to bleed into evenings and weekends. It is easier to keep pushing the end of the day back or slip in extra reading with my morning coffee.

My civilian work is just different. It’s my passion and hard to separate from my identity. In my chosen profession, I have found commonality with a few lawyers as well as some IT folks whom I’ve had the pleasure in spending time with. I am sure more of you share this, it simply has not come up in what we talk about. I am grateful for the fact that everyone is unique, conversations come easy and that I learn different things from every experience.

For my civilian work, my brain is working all hours, it just is and it’s normal for me. I am a thinker. And as you may have noticed in your own life as well, business hours have no meaning in the context of thought. And part of this is where my chosen profession comes in. I get some of the best connections when I have structured downtime. Where my brain is stimulated by something less intellectually heavy, but something I am equally swept up in it. Does that make sense?

Finding out how to pleasure you and learning the language of your body is so exciting. If I think about my civilian work when I’m in your arms, it always positive. It’s me saying hell yes I earned this happiness, look at how hard I have been working. I give myself space and permission to feel passion, pleasure, ecstasy. Just having structured, safe intimate space in my life is enough efficiency for me to be free in the moment with you. To come together in a space where you respect me and I respect you. And we get to feel alive and swept up for a few hours.

So thank you again. Just thank you. Because you help nurture a part of me that sometimes gets neglected. And you make me feel so good. You are kind and you are always good to me.

You are wonderful and I am grateful for attracting such kind humans into my life.

Today, my heart is open and I have gratitude for the wonder this day holds. Particularly, the hidden treasures which only reveal themselves when we choose to change our perspectives.